Much Needed Change
by CMW2
Summary: Part 2 of ? of my Green Eggs and Ham series starting with UNLEASHED: Mary makes some much needed changes to her life before returning to Marshall..and his kitchen counter; Rated for sex and language; 35th in my 2010 SSS Project


**Author's Note: Ask and ye shall receive. **_**Unleashed**_** is still a one shot but that doesn't mean I can't write nice porn with plot companion pieces. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"**

"Oh, my _**GOD**_!" she yelped while slapping a hand over her eyes.

"_Hi, Eleanor__**.**_" two familiar sheepish voices greeted.

Stan McQueen had an idea of why his usually composed…ahem…_**friend**_ sounded so horrified and it had everything to do with the orange scrap that had obviously been thrown out of the Conference Room. Stan knew the scrap in his hand. It was the same material and color of one of Mary Shannon's trademark tank tops, namely the one that made Marshall Mann look at her like she was coated in chocolate. Not that he didn't do it already…poor sap.

"You…and you…and the _**chair**_…and-and…good morning!" Eleanor Prince replied squeakily before slamming the door and putting her back to it.

"Eleanor…what is it? _**Eleanor?**_"

She still looked horrified but now, she was shaking with silent, hysterical laughter as her hand remained over her eyes. Walking over, he parted her fingers enough to make her look at him.

"Ahem…Stanley, do you remember what we were talking about the day after Hellspawn decided to marry Raph?"

"Ye-ah…_**why**_?"

"Well, uh…Marshall isn't as pathetically in love with her as we assumed. And it's not as one-sided either. See…well…"

The door opened and Mary stepped sheepishly out in jeans, shoes…and a frilly little bra. Marshall came out too in unbuttoned jeans, an inside out tank top, rumpled hair, and a tiny smirk on his face. Both of them smelled like sweat, the carpet freshener, and sweaty sex on the…oh, gross! _**Finally**_ but still gross! No wonder Eleanor had been so freaked out. She was still laughing against the window, her teeth sinking into her lower lip appealingly…_**focus**_, McQueen!

"What the hell is going on, Inspectors?" he asked with weary resignation.

"Okay, so…me and Marshall…we uh… he told me that…and as doomed as it is, I feel the same so I have to…we'll pay for the chair and disinfect the table later! Doofus, do I still have a spare shirt lying around here someplace? I obviously can't go home like _**this**_." Mary stammered with a gesture towards her barely clothed torso.

"Sure you could. It'll make things go much faster." he leered cheerfully.

"_**Marshall…**_" she growled.

"Bottom right hand drawer of my desk. There's one for me too."

Well, hot damn. The kid finally made a move. Stan would shake his hand but he was afraid of what may be on it…

"You two couldn't have taken that someplace else?" Stan asked in a sotto voice as Marshall pulled the white button down on.

"In my frame of mind, I would've crashed us into a tree even if we were walking, especially if we were walking. Like Mary said, we'll clean it up and pay for it."

Stan nodded and turned to her with a gesture at her bare ring finger.

"What about…?"

"I'm ending it with him for real. I should have after that mess with Fat Judy but…yeah. Tell you what, Marshall. You clean the dried love creams off of the table and I'll pay for the decimated chair. Deal?" Mary confirmed as she pulled her jacket over her purple tank top.

"Deal. Good luck."

She picked up her ring (and her side arm) from her desk and went towards the door quickly.

A light pink flush tinted Marshall's cheeks as Eleanor came back from the closet with a bottle of spray on bleach and a roll of bounty.

"Here you go, Don Juan.", she ribbed with waggling brows.

"Gracias.", he mumbled as he went back into the Conference Room.

As soon as the doors shut, Eleanor looked at him fixedly and extended her hand.

"Pay up, McQueen."

He passed her a 50 and he shook his head with exasperated fondness at his Inspectors…_**children's**_ antics.

It was about time.

_**/**_

She entered the house and saw three things: Brandi painting her nails, Jinx sprawled out in front of Oprah, and Raph pacing like an enraged bull. Mary closed the door and Raph glared at her.

"So, you've finally decided to be an adult about all this?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I have. You don't have to worry about the wedding anymore."

"You're actually going to help plan it?"

"No. There's not going to _**be**_ a wedding at all. Raph, going along with the lie you told your mom was a dumb idea. Keeping the damn ring on was an even dumber idea, an idea that I'm going to fix right now. You and I both know that it would never work. You want June Cleaver and I want someone who gets me and doesn't try to change me to suit his needs. We're too different. Besides, even if we did get married, I'd give it less than a month before we were breaking up. I'm saving you some money by just cutting the wedding shit out. Here."

She put the ring on the counter and Raph just looked at her like she had grown a second head.

"You are breaking up with me?"

"Yeah."

"_**You**_ are breaking up with _**me**_?"

"I am. Get your stuff and get out."

Raph looked like he was either going to yell or take a swing at her so Mary moved the jacket aside just enough to show that she was armed and willing to get dangerous.

"Don't even think about it. Raph, I'm sorry for stringing you along and you're right to be pissed off at me for it but if you put your hands on me, I'll bust a cap in your other knee. Get your shit and get out of my house."

He scoffed and pocketed the ring.

"You are neither worth the time nor the effort of hitting, Mary. You're going to be alone for the rest of your miserable life. I'll leave but don't expect me to have dealings with you anymore." Raph sneered hatefully.

"Good. I've already taken you out of my phone and I got a new case of batteries for my vibrator from Sam's Club. I'll get by just fine without you. Get moving." she replied with a nonchalant shrug.

After Raph stalked down the hall, she stopped Brandi and Jinx from yelling with a simple but direct statement.

"The Gravy Train's been put to pasture. Pull your own weight or be gone when I get back."

"And just where do you think you're going?" Jinx screeched dramatically. "You can't do this to Raphael! How selfish can you be?"

"Out. And that little outburst just indicated your decision. Get gone." Mary replied while pointing towards the door.

"You…you can't throw me out! I'm your _**mother!**_"

"Only on paper. You've been nothing but a useless, washed up alcoholic since I was 7. Get you and your shit the fuck out of my house or I'm calling the cops."

Jinx's jaw dropped and Mary glared at a cowering Brandi challengingly.

"I…I'm not…I'll go get the newspaper classifieds." her little sister stuttered, pleasantly surprising her. Perhaps there was hope for Squish, after all…

'That's a start. Make sure Dumb and Dumber get out or classifieds or not, you're gone too." Mary conceded before slamming the door triumphantly.

Damn, that had felt good!

_**/**_

She made a Kramer like entrance into his condo but before he could even blink, her lips were on his. Marshall dropped the Honey Bun he had been eating and buried his fingers in her mane of cornsilk hair. Her hoodie hit the floor and he put her up on his kitchen counter, knocking the box to the floor.

"Hi.", Mary wheezed as she started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Hi. How'd it go?" Marshall replied as he pulled first hers and then his tank off.

"It went. Not only is Raph gone but I threw Jinx out too. Brandi said that she'd look for a job so I'll give her a week to prove it.", she declared as her bra and his belt joined the pile.

"Did you tell them about…?" he mumbled as he put them on the counter fully.

"_**No**_. It's none of their fucking business." she grunted as she clawed his jeans off, purposely brushing against his straining arousal.

Grendel growled with agreement and Marshall undid her jeans, letting her kick them off to reveal…

"...Could've _**sworn**_ you had panties on earlier…"

"…knew I wouldn't need 'em. Fuck me."

Good idea. He shucked off his boxers and pushed into her easily, moaning as her hot heat surrounded him. This woman was the best he had ever had and he wasn't letting her go anytime soon. If she tried to run, he'd chase her to the ends of the Earth and heaven help the inevitable local hick/FBI asshole who tried to make a move on her…

"_**Shit.**_", she hissed. "Do that again…"

"What, _**this?**_" Marshall teased with a savage twist of his hips.

"_**Jesus!**_ Yes, that! Where the fuck did you…?"

"I'm bringing you to my next mambo lesson. There's much more where that came from. This, for example…"

She shuddered underneath him and he kissed her roughly, pinching her nipples to the rhythm of his hips. Mary bucked and screamed into his mouth as she shattered and he followed after her with a wolfish grin. She moaned weakly as he rested his face in her cleavage and she pressed a light kiss to his brow.

After a while, she asked, "Want to do it in a bed this time?"

"You up for it?"

"_**He**_ is.", she replied wryly as she thrust up onto his renewed erection.

Unable and unwilling to argue with her, he silently picked her up and walked them to his bedroom.

If he had his way, they'd be there for the rest of the week.


End file.
